The Art Of Gift Giving

Ok, I’m about to tell an ugly truth.  Most women are horrible gift givers.  That’s Right! I said it! Now if your reading this and your thinking to yourself “That’s not true. I gave my man a PS4 and a cold beer for his birthday”, then you’re the exception, not the rule.  Also, why are you not sharing your wisdom with the legion of woman giving out Cosby sweaters and books as gifts? 

Here’s the thing, in most cases a man will pick a gift that is exclusively for his lady.  This is even true when they pick bad gifts, such as a vacuum, ports and pans.  Woman, on the other hand, often give their men the things they want them to have.  And in that lies the issues.  Buying him tickets to a play or a show you wanted to see is not a gift.  That’s just a date he didn’t have to pay for.  Has your man ever bought you ticks to WWE Smack Down, knowing that wrestling is his not your cup of tea and tried to pass it off as a something he is doing for you.  And if he did I’m sure he is still hearing about it. 

Ladies, here is a good rule of thumb when shopping for the men in you lives.

1.     Do I know what he is interested in?

2.     Does this gift benefit him or me?

3.     Will it make him happy?

It’s this bloggers opinion that woman are more sensitive, attentive and caring when it comes to keeping a relationship connected, but sometimes you can lose your individuality.  That’s why it’s good to honor each other’s personal interest with a gift.  Trust me, he will be appreciative of your thoughtfulness.

Let's Be Honest, Listening is a Little Scary

Don't forget to speak your mind, and most importantly don't be scared to listen. Why scared, you may ask? Well because, listening is scary. Listening causes us to be put in that awkward situation where someone we care about says the not so flattering things, no one likes to hear. Listening means accepting that you have failed in certain ways, it also means discovering that you are awesome in certain areas, you were never aware of. Listening is scary because it's different from hearing. Listening means actually having to do a little work on the front end (taking in what has been said) and on the back end (trying to make adjustments). 

 Listening is scared, because sometimes listening means change. Change is something very few of us like (no matter what we say) and even fewer of us are capable of readily accepting. Keep in mind that anything worth having, is worth working for. Remember that many times fear is our greatest deterrent from being great. This not only translates to our personal lives, but also our relationships. Don't be afraid. Lend and ear, listen, and learn today.

Social Media and Dating, When to let it Go

"I'm just looking!" many people have said that in relationships, when confronted by a significant other, or when justifying their own behavior which might be a little suspect. For some reason the social norm once we enter a relationship, is to assume that we no longer have eyes or senses, and never find another person remotely interesting or attractive. Since, virtually everyone is connected to some type of social media outlet, this same dilemma that takes place on a daily basis in the real world, has become amplified, in a frenzied, whirlwind of likes, bikini photos, and half nude selfies.

In our current world of "Likes and Shares", where should we draw the line, when it comes to interaction with the opposite sex on social media, if we are in a relationship? The "Instagram Rules for Men", lays out a few tips, that sound down right wrong. "Comments you post don't appear in the Following section. They can see when you like a pic, Not when you comment". If you are looking to be an Instagram sleaze, this advice will probably be very useful. If you are looking to be honest in your relationship, and avoid putting yourself in situations where you feel like you have to lie or hide anything! If you have to lie or hide something related to the opposite sex, chances are it will probably make your partner fairly upset. Now take it a step further, and ask yourself, "is it really worth it?". Is liking a picture of a woman in a g-string, or a dude in a banana hammock, standing in front of a dirty bathroom mirror or disheveled bedroom, really worth having the person you see everyday, love everyday, and actually want to be with upset? If the answer is a resounding "Yes!", then by all means, take these rules and make them work for you. If it isn't, it's probably time to take out your phone and start "un-following" or "de-friending", those attention starved guys and gals you have to sneak and look at when your boyfriend or girlfriends back is turned. Basic rules for relationships and social media. If it can cause you to get yelled at, slapped, or dumped just let it go.

What do you want to Eat?!

I'm sure you've all seen this video by now, For every guy who has ever asked a girl “what do you want to eat?” just to hear her say I don’t know, I feel your pain.  This is a battle that has been waging on since the caveman first dragged home a pound of T-Rex meat, which I’m told taste a lot like chicken. 

To be honest, it’s a battle that will never end, but on behalf of all the men on earth let me explain why this makes no since to us.

1. Men are in most cases greedy, pick any restaurant and we will find something on the menu we like.  If not we’ll just put bacon on something healthy and call it a day. 

2. Women are in most cases picky, which is why we would rather you pick so we don’t have to hear the complaints.

3. This is not your first time eating food, right, RIGHT!?  

4. How on God’s green earth can you run down a list of all the places you don’t want to eat but can’t pick one place where you do want to eat?

5. If you say we can pick you can’t veto every choice we make.

I have never been in the mind of a woman but this is how I imagine the “where to eat” conversation plays out.

“Oh, where do I want to eat? Well, what did I eat today? What did I eat yesterday?  I was good today. All I had was four grapes and some Chick-Fil-A for lunch.  Plus it was a grilled chicken sandwich too! Oh, but I did have that slice of cake yesterday. Cake! No girl, no. Don’t give in to chocolate cake, or red velvet cake.  Cupcakes are ok though, right?  I mean they’re so small. They can’t have that many calories.  What’s the name of that app Suzie uses to keep track of her calories?  She’s so skinny. I hate her.  I’ll just let him pick and wherever we go I’ll get a salad.  But then I’ll have to watch him eat like a pig and gain one pound. Men are such jerks. I wonder what he’s getting me for my birthday?”

By this time 20 plus minutes have passed and you look up to see the Golden Arches.  Ladies this is not a hard question in the mind of a man. We oversimplify things, true but food is a necessity and should not be a complicated choice.  There are so many other things in your relationship you could be devoting this time to.

Trust me, I’m a Relationship Ninja!

- Racer X

Consider Being Considerate

As it turns out, being considerate of other people’s needs and wants can get you pretty far in life, imagine that! 

I recently went on vacation with some friends of mine, a couple, Dean and Amanda. What I noticed about Dean is how considerate he was, even to me, his girlfriend’s friend. Every day of the beach trip Dean would pack up the cooler, the chairs, the beach tent, anything else we needed, and haul it down to the beach to set up for the day. Sometimes he would hang out with us or sometimes he would go do his own thing but he ALWAYS made sure we were set. 

Gentlemen, definitely take a page out of this guy’s book.

- L.E.K

Texting Versus Talking

Advances in technology, that effect our ability to communicate with one and other can be great tools to stay in touch, when we otherwise may not. However, when it comes to your dating life, nothing beats the tried and true methods of talking face to face or talking over the phone. It's worked for generations, so to assume that our ability to text or email, can supplement the classic forms of communication, we are fooling ourselves.


Texting can be bad for several reasons.While its a great way to iron out dinner plans, or determine what time you plan to head to a movie, its a terrible way to talk about your feelings, and anything of importance that pertains to your relationship. Check out this video from the folks over at DNews, and let us know how texting has hurt or helped in your relationship.


DNews Report on Texting in Relationships

Deal Breakers and How to Navigate Them

We all have deal breakers. You know, those small or large things that often cause us to irrationally leave a relationship we are currently in, or end one before it even gets the opportunity to start. While we all should have deal breakers, these ideals must be relative, as everything that is good for the goose is not often good for the gander. Assuming that what is applicable in one relationship, is applicable in all relationships is not only rash, but can often place us in situations where we never provide others true opportunities to enter, and remain in our lives.


 Buzzfeed recently posted an article listing one mans outrageously long list of deal breakers, that is a little scary, but thought provoking at the same time (Buzz Feed Deal Breakers Article).
While the vast majority of these relationship ending or non-starters are down right laughable and ludicrous, it begs the question, what deal breakers do you have that have caused you to lose relationships, or prevented you from entering them, and are they truly as important as the weight you have placed upon them?

While you may not find those who walk "three people wide on the sidewalk" or those who find "trampolines safe for children" undateable. You may have a deal breaker of your own that prevents others from doing the main thing we all want to do in our relationships...be ourselves.

If you are looking for a relationship, currently in a relationship, putting a relationship back together, or simply determining as a single person what you need from a relationship, consider your deal breakers. How will they impact your life and how will they impact those around you. Love on the Fly recommends evaluating your personal deal breakers using the following steps.

1. DO NOT do it angry: When you are mad, your think mad. When you think angry you think negatively. Nothing good can ever come from negative thinking. Before you begin the process, make sure you are in a peaceful mental space. For example do not begin thinking about your deal breakers, right after your significant other had to call a late rain check on date night, when they need to put in extra hours at work.

2. Rule of 5: Narrow your deal breakers down to 5 items or less. This will force you to really consider what is important. By ranking your deal breakers, and rationally thinking about their effect on a relationship, it will allow you to realize things you take too seriously, things that are more important than you thought, things that are less important than you thought, and things you do in a relationship that could cause your partner to feel judged and unsupported.

3. Acceptance: Accepting what you can't live without and what you can live with, will inevitably make both you and your current or future partners happier people. It will put you in a more centered space to deal with both current and past deal breakers as they arise (and they will arise).

4. Say it Straight: When communicating your deal breakers, don't walk in the room with a "take no prisoners attitude". You will come across as controlling, not as someone who truly wants to be part of a successful relationship. Communicate openly and clearly, be prepared to answer questions, and expect a little bit of push back.

5. Rome Wasn't Built in a Day: The saying rings true, Rome was not built in a day, and anything worth having is worth working for. Just because someone may not instantly be able to adhere to what you have listed, doesn't mean that don't want to make you happy, want to honor and respect your feelings, and stay in the relationship. Patience is key here. While we all have the ability to change, it doesn't happen over night. You must also be willing to work with them. You don't want anyone to feel as though they are on a time clock, or that they are under the gun. It will make them feel as though they are forced to change, that you are making demands as opposed to attempting to foster a better relationship, and eventually cause them to harbor resentment against you.

What are your deal breakers? Leave a comment below and let us know what grinds your gears to the point of no return.

When to Say "I'm sorry"

Saying I'm sorry for many means absolutely nothing, for others it can mean absolutely everything. While its only two words, there impact can be profound. This begs the question, when is it appropriate to say I'm sorry, and what is the best way to do it? While it may seem very simple, it may be more complicated than we think. in a recent article published by the Wall Street Journal, apologizing immediately is the absolute WORST thing you can do. Just like there is an art to convincing someone to go on a date, there is an art to apologizing. If you have seen any of Robin Thicke's pleas to return to the good graces of his estranged wife, Paula Patton, it is safe to say he is providing us all with a text book of what not to do.

Robin Thicke Should Probably Read This

If you have no musical ability to speak of, and are unable to dedicate full length albums and nation wide tours to your wife or husband, there are other options (Robin we are speaking to you). Elizabeth Bernstein of the WSJ points out 5 steps that can be taken in any situation where conflict rears its ugly head...

Again, while these steps may seem like common sense, I think they are far easier said than done. Which one of these do you think you struggle with the most? The next time you find yourself stuck in a conflict, focus on trying to express a more positive behavior. Chances are, your partner will be happier, and when its all said and done, you will be too. 

Dr. Hal Shorey Dropping Knowledge

Check out the article from the WSJ below, its a great read and chances are you will learn something. For those too lazy to read, there is an informative video clip featuring Dr. Hal Shorey you can check out as well( WSJ Article) . Happy Monday everybody! And don't forget to say "I'm Sorry".

We're Shooting a Commercial

Lisa Hard at Work on the Cue Cards

Yeah, that's right! We shot a commercial , and it's currently undergoing the final editing stages now. We cannot wait to share it with you all in the days to come. The entire Love on the Fly team would like to thank the actors and film crew who helped to bring our ideas to life. Be sure to look for the official release on our Facebook page, as it will go live there, before finding its way here.

A Big Thank You to Our Actors Jordan and Eric