The Art Of Gift Giving

Ok, I’m about to tell an ugly truth.  Most women are horrible gift givers.  That’s Right! I said it! Now if your reading this and your thinking to yourself “That’s not true. I gave my man a PS4 and a cold beer for his birthday”, then you’re the exception, not the rule.  Also, why are you not sharing your wisdom with the legion of woman giving out Cosby sweaters and books as gifts? 

Here’s the thing, in most cases a man will pick a gift that is exclusively for his lady.  This is even true when they pick bad gifts, such as a vacuum, ports and pans.  Woman, on the other hand, often give their men the things they want them to have.  And in that lies the issues.  Buying him tickets to a play or a show you wanted to see is not a gift.  That’s just a date he didn’t have to pay for.  Has your man ever bought you ticks to WWE Smack Down, knowing that wrestling is his not your cup of tea and tried to pass it off as a something he is doing for you.  And if he did I’m sure he is still hearing about it. 

Ladies, here is a good rule of thumb when shopping for the men in you lives.

1.     Do I know what he is interested in?

2.     Does this gift benefit him or me?

3.     Will it make him happy?

It’s this bloggers opinion that woman are more sensitive, attentive and caring when it comes to keeping a relationship connected, but sometimes you can lose your individuality.  That’s why it’s good to honor each other’s personal interest with a gift.  Trust me, he will be appreciative of your thoughtfulness.

Rules, Standards, and the New Dating Scene

Dear ladies,

Would you approve of your best friend or sibling dating a man with no Job? How about a man with no education? In one of the LOTF teams recent discussions regarding relationships, we have noticed that the bar for both sexes is begin raised, in terms of what they must bring to the table to be deemed a suitable companion. For the vast majority of men the idea of finding an attractive woman, who is a great cook and will take care of them no longer applies (Thank Goodness). That being said, most women do not simply want to be taken care of these days. For those that still hang on to that ideal, think about it like this. What would you say if your best friend introduced you to a man who had no job, no ambition, and no education, but was "great at yard work and mean on the grill"? Chances are you would implore her to drop him like a bad habit. In today's muddled maze of human interactions, many of the old rules and standards no longer apply. Our hope is this new development will see more couples find long term success, as they are choosing each other, not hanging in there our of obligation.

That old standards or dating rules do you feel have fallen to the wayside in today's dating landscape? Leave a comment below, and let us know what you think!

Surviving A Long Distance Relationship

There is nothing worse than finding the right person, who happens to be in the wrong city. While I personally would not recommend a long distance while in college (too many distractions and temptations). Once you have wrapped up our time on campus, you may find that the person you are supposed to be with is right around the corner, or in middle Iowa. Now the question becomes, how do we navigate, what feels like the endless ocean between you on a daily basis?

Check out this video below from TheDanocracy, as he provides a few tips on how to maintain a long distance relationship. Do you agree with Dan's tips? Leave a comment below to let us know what you think! 

Let's Be Honest, Listening is a Little Scary

Don't forget to speak your mind, and most importantly don't be scared to listen. Why scared, you may ask? Well because, listening is scary. Listening causes us to be put in that awkward situation where someone we care about says the not so flattering things, no one likes to hear. Listening means accepting that you have failed in certain ways, it also means discovering that you are awesome in certain areas, you were never aware of. Listening is scary because it's different from hearing. Listening means actually having to do a little work on the front end (taking in what has been said) and on the back end (trying to make adjustments). 

 Listening is scared, because sometimes listening means change. Change is something very few of us like (no matter what we say) and even fewer of us are capable of readily accepting. Keep in mind that anything worth having, is worth working for. Remember that many times fear is our greatest deterrent from being great. This not only translates to our personal lives, but also our relationships. Don't be afraid. Lend and ear, listen, and learn today.

Social Media and Dating, When to let it Go

"I'm just looking!" many people have said that in relationships, when confronted by a significant other, or when justifying their own behavior which might be a little suspect. For some reason the social norm once we enter a relationship, is to assume that we no longer have eyes or senses, and never find another person remotely interesting or attractive. Since, virtually everyone is connected to some type of social media outlet, this same dilemma that takes place on a daily basis in the real world, has become amplified, in a frenzied, whirlwind of likes, bikini photos, and half nude selfies.

In our current world of "Likes and Shares", where should we draw the line, when it comes to interaction with the opposite sex on social media, if we are in a relationship? The "Instagram Rules for Men", lays out a few tips, that sound down right wrong. "Comments you post don't appear in the Following section. They can see when you like a pic, Not when you comment". If you are looking to be an Instagram sleaze, this advice will probably be very useful. If you are looking to be honest in your relationship, and avoid putting yourself in situations where you feel like you have to lie or hide anything! If you have to lie or hide something related to the opposite sex, chances are it will probably make your partner fairly upset. Now take it a step further, and ask yourself, "is it really worth it?". Is liking a picture of a woman in a g-string, or a dude in a banana hammock, standing in front of a dirty bathroom mirror or disheveled bedroom, really worth having the person you see everyday, love everyday, and actually want to be with upset? If the answer is a resounding "Yes!", then by all means, take these rules and make them work for you. If it isn't, it's probably time to take out your phone and start "un-following" or "de-friending", those attention starved guys and gals you have to sneak and look at when your boyfriend or girlfriends back is turned. Basic rules for relationships and social media. If it can cause you to get yelled at, slapped, or dumped just let it go.

Just a little fun!

All of our blog post don't have to be super serious, or advice driven. We are perfectly capable of having a little bit of fun too...well fun with a message! How well do you think you know your partner? Often times we think we know the "idea" of who we think they are, but are fairly unfamiliar with who they really are. This can be attributed to our own hubris and need to put things in their proper place for our own peace of mind. The problem is real, successful, honest relationships cannot function that way. Click the link below, and take the test provided by the Gottman Institute to find out how well you really know your partner. If you want to get the most out of it, you have to really try! don't give the answer that you think you should provide, give the one that's honest, even if it doesn't make you look too good!

Gottman Institute Quiz

Wedding Planning: Is it the calm before the storm or the Storm Before the Calm?

The team at Love on the Fly regularly pays visits to bridal shows to see what brides and grooms are into, and what they may need a little assistance with. While this may seem fun, we can assure you that its not. We dislike bridal shows, just about as much as you do, the difference is the attitude we approach it with. Wedding planning is tedious, arduous, and at times a little painstaking. This makes perfect sense, given that relationships (yes, even the successful ones) can be described using the exact same words. Love is never easy, so why should planning a wedding be? Needless to say, becoming a relationship ninja does not happen over night, it takes a lot of hard work, dedication, and even a little help form time to time (Why we do what we do). That being said, its important be open to the process, and put your best foot forward, even when both of your feet want to turn tail and run for the hills. Since having an argument (or two, three or four) is inevitable, why not try an pick your battles? There is no need to fight over everything, but maybe in some cases, digging your heels in will make the reality of that special day a little better than you could have even dreamed. Catherine Rampell of the Huffington Post penned an awesome article entitled "The One Fight to Have Before Your Wedding". Check it out in the link below, and be sure to let us know what you think about it!

The One Fight to Have Before Your Wedding Day

We're All Crazy

Why do I always look lost?

Have you ever felt like you needed to be stuffed into  straight jacket after having a conversation with your boyfriend or girlfriend? Trust me, you aren't alone. What I mean by that to be exact, is that I'm sure they felt the exact same way about you! You know that odd, bewildered, thinking hurts me face (i.e. Justin Bieber) the other person seems to be making? Chances are, in their mind, you look equally ridiculous. While it makes sense to assume that we are always logical, always sensible, and concise when talking to others, it makes more sense to accept that fallacy in that train of that. More often than not (especially when dealing with feelings) we are illogical, off-center, hypocritical, convoluted, and confused ourselves.

Before you speak gather your thoughts, and most importantly accept that you belong in the same loony bin as the rest of us, welcome home!

Baring it All

                                                                                                                                                                                       

VH1 (the new hub of reality television) has provided us with a new take on the modern television dating show. This is Blind Date, The Dating Game, The 5th Wheel or even The Bachelor. In VH1's Dating Naked, the title nor the participants attire (or lack there of) leaves much to the imagination. While anyone associated with the show would presumably say that "nudity helps those involved to break down barriers", the. People enjoy seeing other people naked, and the idea of going on a date naked, is so unfathomable, seeing others experience it is equally mortifying as it is intriguing. While personally, I cannot stand the show, I don't think it is going anywhere, anytime soon. They already have their first Wedding Special on the way for goodness' sake.

Click here to see the Naked Dating: Wedding Special Trailer

Is she high or is this just a poor screen capture? It's all the same to us!

Nothing like an arrow to the groin to start the day off right

Whether it's Love & Hip-Hop or watching people showcase their best William Tell impression in the buff, VH1 seems to have the relationship, reality-show game on lock these days. Have you seen the show yet? If so let us know your thoughts! 

Ask Away

Monty Python and Communication

No matter how long you have been together, 3 days, 5 months, or 10 years, proper communication is the key to any relationship. Without it the relationship is doomed to fail, but when it is present in it's truest form the possibilities are endless. The inherent problem with proper communication, is that its takes personal sacrifice to do so. While communicating in relationships is often viewed as a "group exercise", often times it doesn't work out that way. That could be attributed to the fact that very rarely, if ever, are two people occupying the same mental and emotional space at the same time. Even when both parties enter a dialogue with the best of intentions, it can often lead to more consternation than you experienced to begin with.

Breaking the ice one year in, is equally as important as breaking the ice on a first date. Do not simply jump into an important conversation haphazardly, but don't be calculated. Those approaches, will only lead to selfish interactions. Try asking pointed questions, that do not appear controlling in nature, but also put your partner in a position to answer clearly and thoughtfully. For example, it is very common for people to feel unappreciated in their relationships. It is equally as common for those who are accused of being unappreciative, to be angered, and confused by the notion that they take their partner for granted routinely. When your significant other states that they feel unappreciated, as difficult as it may be, respond by asking "what makes you feel unappreciated?" and after the answer is given, follow-up with "When was the last time you felt appreciated?"

While you may receive an answer you were not expecting, that could quite possibly cause more drama, it will give you a far better idea of your partners position and feelings, than simply talking off the cuff. Your significant other will be put in a position to articulate their feelings as opposed to simply feeling them, and allow you both to have a better understand about what is really going on. Far too often, our most important conversations function as emotional battle royals, as opposed to thought provoking, soul bearing dialogues that allow us to yield positive returns. Often times, we realize what are partner was trying to say all along, after its too late. Before it reaches that point, or even if you think it has, try posing more direct questions, You never know the good it can do, until you try! That being said, if you refuse or forget to listen to the answers you are given, it will all be for nothing.

A Man Without A Plan Is Not A Man

I am a single female in my late 20’s. I use an online dating app and I have gone on a lot of first dates, tons. I recently went on a first date with a guy; let’s call him “Jay”. Jay is a young professional, lives ITP, and enjoys kickball. Jay musters up the courage to ask me out after chatting for a while. We work through some details and arrive at the conclusion that our schedules won’t allow for a date for two weeks. He says he is still interested and I put it on my calendar. 

Fast forward, 3 days before the big date, I have to take the initiative (he should have; annoyance #1) to text and ask if we are still confirmed for the upcoming date. I am a busy person and if plans are going to fall through I need to know ASAP. Jay responds, “Yeah, definitely” and I say “Great, what is the plan?” Jay must not be capable of making plans because he says “Ladies choice” (annoyance #2). 

Here is a general rule of thumb for men or women; when YOU ask someone out, YOU need to make the plan! So I said “let’s go to this new brewery near Piedmont Park” and Jay says “cool, I’ve never been to a brewery." This gives me pause because this particular brewery I have chosen only makes four beers and they are quite unique. So I ask him “what type of beer do you normally drink” and my worst fears are confirmed by his response, he only drinks Bud Lite beers. So now I have to change the plan, 

I find a two for one deal for a different brewery, one that has a wider selection and is more appropriate for his maiden craft beer experience. I think I have really done well, I float the idea, and it all sounds good. 

That takes us to the day of date. I am at work and I realize that my plan sucks because it is a logistical nightmare with Friday afternoon traffic, the plan must be changed yet again. Now I am frustrated, I text Jay and tell him we need to do something else because of traffic. He says okay but offers no alternatives. At this point I’m about to say forget it, but I don’t, I pick two restaurants and make him choose. Jay chooses and finally arrives at the conclusion that “I probably didn’t help the situation. I probably should have just chosen something to do and had that be that.” 

Uh yeah Jay, that would have been good.

Tips for making a plan: Consider your audience; what does this person like or dislike? Think of logistics; weather and traffic. Remember the 5 P’s “prior planning prevents poor performance” and always always always when YOU ask someone out, YOU need to make the plan!

- L. Kenn

What do you want to Eat?!

I'm sure you've all seen this video by now, For every guy who has ever asked a girl “what do you want to eat?” just to hear her say I don’t know, I feel your pain.  This is a battle that has been waging on since the caveman first dragged home a pound of T-Rex meat, which I’m told taste a lot like chicken. 

To be honest, it’s a battle that will never end, but on behalf of all the men on earth let me explain why this makes no since to us.

1. Men are in most cases greedy, pick any restaurant and we will find something on the menu we like.  If not we’ll just put bacon on something healthy and call it a day. 

2. Women are in most cases picky, which is why we would rather you pick so we don’t have to hear the complaints.

3. This is not your first time eating food, right, RIGHT!?  

4. How on God’s green earth can you run down a list of all the places you don’t want to eat but can’t pick one place where you do want to eat?

5. If you say we can pick you can’t veto every choice we make.

I have never been in the mind of a woman but this is how I imagine the “where to eat” conversation plays out.

“Oh, where do I want to eat? Well, what did I eat today? What did I eat yesterday?  I was good today. All I had was four grapes and some Chick-Fil-A for lunch.  Plus it was a grilled chicken sandwich too! Oh, but I did have that slice of cake yesterday. Cake! No girl, no. Don’t give in to chocolate cake, or red velvet cake.  Cupcakes are ok though, right?  I mean they’re so small. They can’t have that many calories.  What’s the name of that app Suzie uses to keep track of her calories?  She’s so skinny. I hate her.  I’ll just let him pick and wherever we go I’ll get a salad.  But then I’ll have to watch him eat like a pig and gain one pound. Men are such jerks. I wonder what he’s getting me for my birthday?”

By this time 20 plus minutes have passed and you look up to see the Golden Arches.  Ladies this is not a hard question in the mind of a man. We oversimplify things, true but food is a necessity and should not be a complicated choice.  There are so many other things in your relationship you could be devoting this time to.

Trust me, I’m a Relationship Ninja!

- Racer X

Consider Being Considerate

As it turns out, being considerate of other people’s needs and wants can get you pretty far in life, imagine that! 

I recently went on vacation with some friends of mine, a couple, Dean and Amanda. What I noticed about Dean is how considerate he was, even to me, his girlfriend’s friend. Every day of the beach trip Dean would pack up the cooler, the chairs, the beach tent, anything else we needed, and haul it down to the beach to set up for the day. Sometimes he would hang out with us or sometimes he would go do his own thing but he ALWAYS made sure we were set. 

Gentlemen, definitely take a page out of this guy’s book.

- L.E.K

Texting Versus Talking

Advances in technology, that effect our ability to communicate with one and other can be great tools to stay in touch, when we otherwise may not. However, when it comes to your dating life, nothing beats the tried and true methods of talking face to face or talking over the phone. It's worked for generations, so to assume that our ability to text or email, can supplement the classic forms of communication, we are fooling ourselves.


Texting can be bad for several reasons.While its a great way to iron out dinner plans, or determine what time you plan to head to a movie, its a terrible way to talk about your feelings, and anything of importance that pertains to your relationship. Check out this video from the folks over at DNews, and let us know how texting has hurt or helped in your relationship.


DNews Report on Texting in Relationships

Deal Breakers and How to Navigate Them

We all have deal breakers. You know, those small or large things that often cause us to irrationally leave a relationship we are currently in, or end one before it even gets the opportunity to start. While we all should have deal breakers, these ideals must be relative, as everything that is good for the goose is not often good for the gander. Assuming that what is applicable in one relationship, is applicable in all relationships is not only rash, but can often place us in situations where we never provide others true opportunities to enter, and remain in our lives.


 Buzzfeed recently posted an article listing one mans outrageously long list of deal breakers, that is a little scary, but thought provoking at the same time (Buzz Feed Deal Breakers Article).
While the vast majority of these relationship ending or non-starters are down right laughable and ludicrous, it begs the question, what deal breakers do you have that have caused you to lose relationships, or prevented you from entering them, and are they truly as important as the weight you have placed upon them?

While you may not find those who walk "three people wide on the sidewalk" or those who find "trampolines safe for children" undateable. You may have a deal breaker of your own that prevents others from doing the main thing we all want to do in our relationships...be ourselves.

If you are looking for a relationship, currently in a relationship, putting a relationship back together, or simply determining as a single person what you need from a relationship, consider your deal breakers. How will they impact your life and how will they impact those around you. Love on the Fly recommends evaluating your personal deal breakers using the following steps.

1. DO NOT do it angry: When you are mad, your think mad. When you think angry you think negatively. Nothing good can ever come from negative thinking. Before you begin the process, make sure you are in a peaceful mental space. For example do not begin thinking about your deal breakers, right after your significant other had to call a late rain check on date night, when they need to put in extra hours at work.

2. Rule of 5: Narrow your deal breakers down to 5 items or less. This will force you to really consider what is important. By ranking your deal breakers, and rationally thinking about their effect on a relationship, it will allow you to realize things you take too seriously, things that are more important than you thought, things that are less important than you thought, and things you do in a relationship that could cause your partner to feel judged and unsupported.

3. Acceptance: Accepting what you can't live without and what you can live with, will inevitably make both you and your current or future partners happier people. It will put you in a more centered space to deal with both current and past deal breakers as they arise (and they will arise).

4. Say it Straight: When communicating your deal breakers, don't walk in the room with a "take no prisoners attitude". You will come across as controlling, not as someone who truly wants to be part of a successful relationship. Communicate openly and clearly, be prepared to answer questions, and expect a little bit of push back.

5. Rome Wasn't Built in a Day: The saying rings true, Rome was not built in a day, and anything worth having is worth working for. Just because someone may not instantly be able to adhere to what you have listed, doesn't mean that don't want to make you happy, want to honor and respect your feelings, and stay in the relationship. Patience is key here. While we all have the ability to change, it doesn't happen over night. You must also be willing to work with them. You don't want anyone to feel as though they are on a time clock, or that they are under the gun. It will make them feel as though they are forced to change, that you are making demands as opposed to attempting to foster a better relationship, and eventually cause them to harbor resentment against you.

What are your deal breakers? Leave a comment below and let us know what grinds your gears to the point of no return.

We're Shooting a Commercial

Lisa Hard at Work on the Cue Cards

Yeah, that's right! We shot a commercial , and it's currently undergoing the final editing stages now. We cannot wait to share it with you all in the days to come. The entire Love on the Fly team would like to thank the actors and film crew who helped to bring our ideas to life. Be sure to look for the official release on our Facebook page, as it will go live there, before finding its way here.

A Big Thank You to Our Actors Jordan and Eric 

Welcome Aboard

Welcome Aboard!


Welcome to Love on the Fly Talk, the official blog for Love on the Fly. Love on the Fly Talk, is intended to be used as a resource for the sites users, their friends, and the universe at large. It's a place where you can come to laugh, learn, and yes as corny as it sounds, LOVE. We hope you love what you read, we hope you love the site, and love the content that will be posted on this blog. If there is a topic you would like for our team to address, let us know, if there is a story that you want to contribute; let us know! We are not in the business of creating the same old mundane, relationship blog or website you may be familiar with. We are however, in the business of communicating with our readers, and users of our website (loveonthefly.com) . It is the best way to create the open dialogue and sense of community we intend to generate through this medium. We thank you for joining us on this journey, welcome to the team!