Who's The Boss In Your House?

I think one of the interesting things that I hear when I listen to spouses speak about their marriage is who they consider the boss. I have heard ALL of the following:

• My wife

• My husband


• We both lead equally


• It depends on the day


• It depends on the topic!

• He takes care of the bills I take care of the children

• We discuss everything together and make the final decision(s) together

But, I think that one of my favorite lines come from the movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. The wife said, “The husband is the head, but the wife is the neck that turns the head” - Brilliant!

But, really, who is the “boss” when it comes to marriage? Who is the leader?

Before I go into this, please know that this is my opinion only. It’s not based on scientific facts, but on my own upbringing and what was instilled into me.


Now that that is out of the way, the man is and always should be the leader/boss in every marriage. This is provided that he is a truly good man. Yes, being a “good man” is subjective, but every woman has that ‘list’ so compare your husband to that list and if he marks 80% or higher, meaning if he gets a majority of check marks then he is a good man according to you.


I’m not saying that your husband is the head so therefore nothing should ever be discussed. What I’m saying is that after everything is discussed, if you two have not come to a mutual agreement, then your husband has the final say so in the ultimate decision. It is a man’s job to lead and “fix” things. Let your husband be a man and stop trying to take his place.

So what if you don’t agree with it? Let me state the obvious, everyone is different and was raised differently. Because of that everyone will have different outlooks, views, and/or opinions. So, when you and your spouse are confronted with a situation, both of you will look at it based on your separate ideology.

This is why communication is KEY. You have to discuss these differences and from there make a uniformed decision. However, if a decision cannot be made together then the man, your husband, should have the final word.

As a woman, it is in our DNA to want to talk back and have the final say. But, in a marriage this will not work. In the infamous words of my husband, “Humble yourself,” and just breathe.”

In this modern society, women are brought up to be strong and independent and not depend on a man. What this modern society is forgetting to add is that you are not a man; so, when you find one put a lot of that independence to the side. Yes, it is one of the scariest things to do for many different reasons. But, when you find the right husband then it is completely worth it.

And for the husbands, do not abuse this leadership roll. While you may be the leader, consult your wife before you make a decision that would affect your household.


Marriage is a partnership and both of you are in it together. But, let your husband be the leader, the boss, and the man that he is supposed to be.

Erika Henry-Mitchell

Consider Being Considerate

As it turns out, being considerate of other people’s needs and wants can get you pretty far in life, imagine that! 

I recently went on vacation with some friends of mine, a couple, Dean and Amanda. What I noticed about Dean is how considerate he was, even to me, his girlfriend’s friend. Every day of the beach trip Dean would pack up the cooler, the chairs, the beach tent, anything else we needed, and haul it down to the beach to set up for the day. Sometimes he would hang out with us or sometimes he would go do his own thing but he ALWAYS made sure we were set. 

Gentlemen, definitely take a page out of this guy’s book.

- L.E.K

Deal Breakers and How to Navigate Them

We all have deal breakers. You know, those small or large things that often cause us to irrationally leave a relationship we are currently in, or end one before it even gets the opportunity to start. While we all should have deal breakers, these ideals must be relative, as everything that is good for the goose is not often good for the gander. Assuming that what is applicable in one relationship, is applicable in all relationships is not only rash, but can often place us in situations where we never provide others true opportunities to enter, and remain in our lives.


 Buzzfeed recently posted an article listing one mans outrageously long list of deal breakers, that is a little scary, but thought provoking at the same time (Buzz Feed Deal Breakers Article).
While the vast majority of these relationship ending or non-starters are down right laughable and ludicrous, it begs the question, what deal breakers do you have that have caused you to lose relationships, or prevented you from entering them, and are they truly as important as the weight you have placed upon them?

While you may not find those who walk "three people wide on the sidewalk" or those who find "trampolines safe for children" undateable. You may have a deal breaker of your own that prevents others from doing the main thing we all want to do in our relationships...be ourselves.

If you are looking for a relationship, currently in a relationship, putting a relationship back together, or simply determining as a single person what you need from a relationship, consider your deal breakers. How will they impact your life and how will they impact those around you. Love on the Fly recommends evaluating your personal deal breakers using the following steps.

1. DO NOT do it angry: When you are mad, your think mad. When you think angry you think negatively. Nothing good can ever come from negative thinking. Before you begin the process, make sure you are in a peaceful mental space. For example do not begin thinking about your deal breakers, right after your significant other had to call a late rain check on date night, when they need to put in extra hours at work.

2. Rule of 5: Narrow your deal breakers down to 5 items or less. This will force you to really consider what is important. By ranking your deal breakers, and rationally thinking about their effect on a relationship, it will allow you to realize things you take too seriously, things that are more important than you thought, things that are less important than you thought, and things you do in a relationship that could cause your partner to feel judged and unsupported.

3. Acceptance: Accepting what you can't live without and what you can live with, will inevitably make both you and your current or future partners happier people. It will put you in a more centered space to deal with both current and past deal breakers as they arise (and they will arise).

4. Say it Straight: When communicating your deal breakers, don't walk in the room with a "take no prisoners attitude". You will come across as controlling, not as someone who truly wants to be part of a successful relationship. Communicate openly and clearly, be prepared to answer questions, and expect a little bit of push back.

5. Rome Wasn't Built in a Day: The saying rings true, Rome was not built in a day, and anything worth having is worth working for. Just because someone may not instantly be able to adhere to what you have listed, doesn't mean that don't want to make you happy, want to honor and respect your feelings, and stay in the relationship. Patience is key here. While we all have the ability to change, it doesn't happen over night. You must also be willing to work with them. You don't want anyone to feel as though they are on a time clock, or that they are under the gun. It will make them feel as though they are forced to change, that you are making demands as opposed to attempting to foster a better relationship, and eventually cause them to harbor resentment against you.

What are your deal breakers? Leave a comment below and let us know what grinds your gears to the point of no return.

We're Shooting a Commercial

Lisa Hard at Work on the Cue Cards

Yeah, that's right! We shot a commercial , and it's currently undergoing the final editing stages now. We cannot wait to share it with you all in the days to come. The entire Love on the Fly team would like to thank the actors and film crew who helped to bring our ideas to life. Be sure to look for the official release on our Facebook page, as it will go live there, before finding its way here.

A Big Thank You to Our Actors Jordan and Eric