No matter how long you have been together, 3 days, 5 months, or 10 years, proper communication is the key to any relationship. Without it the relationship is doomed to fail, but when it is present in it's truest form the possibilities are endless. The inherent problem with proper communication, is that its takes personal sacrifice to do so. While communicating in relationships is often viewed as a "group exercise", often times it doesn't work out that way. That could be attributed to the fact that very rarely, if ever, are two people occupying the same mental and emotional space at the same time. Even when both parties enter a dialogue with the best of intentions, it can often lead to more consternation than you experienced to begin with.
Breaking the ice one year in, is equally as important as breaking the ice on a first date. Do not simply jump into an important conversation haphazardly, but don't be calculated. Those approaches, will only lead to selfish interactions. Try asking pointed questions, that do not appear controlling in nature, but also put your partner in a position to answer clearly and thoughtfully. For example, it is very common for people to feel unappreciated in their relationships. It is equally as common for those who are accused of being unappreciative, to be angered, and confused by the notion that they take their partner for granted routinely. When your significant other states that they feel unappreciated, as difficult as it may be, respond by asking "what makes you feel unappreciated?" and after the answer is given, follow-up with "When was the last time you felt appreciated?"
While you may receive an answer you were not expecting, that could quite possibly cause more drama, it will give you a far better idea of your partners position and feelings, than simply talking off the cuff. Your significant other will be put in a position to articulate their feelings as opposed to simply feeling them, and allow you both to have a better understand about what is really going on. Far too often, our most important conversations function as emotional battle royals, as opposed to thought provoking, soul bearing dialogues that allow us to yield positive returns. Often times, we realize what are partner was trying to say all along, after its too late. Before it reaches that point, or even if you think it has, try posing more direct questions, You never know the good it can do, until you try! That being said, if you refuse or forget to listen to the answers you are given, it will all be for nothing.
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