Just a little fun!

All of our blog post don't have to be super serious, or advice driven. We are perfectly capable of having a little bit of fun too...well fun with a message! How well do you think you know your partner? Often times we think we know the "idea" of who we think they are, but are fairly unfamiliar with who they really are. This can be attributed to our own hubris and need to put things in their proper place for our own peace of mind. The problem is real, successful, honest relationships cannot function that way. Click the link below, and take the test provided by the Gottman Institute to find out how well you really know your partner. If you want to get the most out of it, you have to really try! don't give the answer that you think you should provide, give the one that's honest, even if it doesn't make you look too good!

Gottman Institute Quiz

Wedding Planning: Is it the calm before the storm or the Storm Before the Calm?

The team at Love on the Fly regularly pays visits to bridal shows to see what brides and grooms are into, and what they may need a little assistance with. While this may seem fun, we can assure you that its not. We dislike bridal shows, just about as much as you do, the difference is the attitude we approach it with. Wedding planning is tedious, arduous, and at times a little painstaking. This makes perfect sense, given that relationships (yes, even the successful ones) can be described using the exact same words. Love is never easy, so why should planning a wedding be? Needless to say, becoming a relationship ninja does not happen over night, it takes a lot of hard work, dedication, and even a little help form time to time (Why we do what we do). That being said, its important be open to the process, and put your best foot forward, even when both of your feet want to turn tail and run for the hills. Since having an argument (or two, three or four) is inevitable, why not try an pick your battles? There is no need to fight over everything, but maybe in some cases, digging your heels in will make the reality of that special day a little better than you could have even dreamed. Catherine Rampell of the Huffington Post penned an awesome article entitled "The One Fight to Have Before Your Wedding". Check it out in the link below, and be sure to let us know what you think about it!

The One Fight to Have Before Your Wedding Day

We're All Crazy

Why do I always look lost?

Have you ever felt like you needed to be stuffed into  straight jacket after having a conversation with your boyfriend or girlfriend? Trust me, you aren't alone. What I mean by that to be exact, is that I'm sure they felt the exact same way about you! You know that odd, bewildered, thinking hurts me face (i.e. Justin Bieber) the other person seems to be making? Chances are, in their mind, you look equally ridiculous. While it makes sense to assume that we are always logical, always sensible, and concise when talking to others, it makes more sense to accept that fallacy in that train of that. More often than not (especially when dealing with feelings) we are illogical, off-center, hypocritical, convoluted, and confused ourselves.

Before you speak gather your thoughts, and most importantly accept that you belong in the same loony bin as the rest of us, welcome home!

Baring it All

                                                                                                                                                                                       

VH1 (the new hub of reality television) has provided us with a new take on the modern television dating show. This is Blind Date, The Dating Game, The 5th Wheel or even The Bachelor. In VH1's Dating Naked, the title nor the participants attire (or lack there of) leaves much to the imagination. While anyone associated with the show would presumably say that "nudity helps those involved to break down barriers", the. People enjoy seeing other people naked, and the idea of going on a date naked, is so unfathomable, seeing others experience it is equally mortifying as it is intriguing. While personally, I cannot stand the show, I don't think it is going anywhere, anytime soon. They already have their first Wedding Special on the way for goodness' sake.

Click here to see the Naked Dating: Wedding Special Trailer

Is she high or is this just a poor screen capture? It's all the same to us!

Nothing like an arrow to the groin to start the day off right

Whether it's Love & Hip-Hop or watching people showcase their best William Tell impression in the buff, VH1 seems to have the relationship, reality-show game on lock these days. Have you seen the show yet? If so let us know your thoughts! 

Ask Away

Monty Python and Communication

No matter how long you have been together, 3 days, 5 months, or 10 years, proper communication is the key to any relationship. Without it the relationship is doomed to fail, but when it is present in it's truest form the possibilities are endless. The inherent problem with proper communication, is that its takes personal sacrifice to do so. While communicating in relationships is often viewed as a "group exercise", often times it doesn't work out that way. That could be attributed to the fact that very rarely, if ever, are two people occupying the same mental and emotional space at the same time. Even when both parties enter a dialogue with the best of intentions, it can often lead to more consternation than you experienced to begin with.

Breaking the ice one year in, is equally as important as breaking the ice on a first date. Do not simply jump into an important conversation haphazardly, but don't be calculated. Those approaches, will only lead to selfish interactions. Try asking pointed questions, that do not appear controlling in nature, but also put your partner in a position to answer clearly and thoughtfully. For example, it is very common for people to feel unappreciated in their relationships. It is equally as common for those who are accused of being unappreciative, to be angered, and confused by the notion that they take their partner for granted routinely. When your significant other states that they feel unappreciated, as difficult as it may be, respond by asking "what makes you feel unappreciated?" and after the answer is given, follow-up with "When was the last time you felt appreciated?"

While you may receive an answer you were not expecting, that could quite possibly cause more drama, it will give you a far better idea of your partners position and feelings, than simply talking off the cuff. Your significant other will be put in a position to articulate their feelings as opposed to simply feeling them, and allow you both to have a better understand about what is really going on. Far too often, our most important conversations function as emotional battle royals, as opposed to thought provoking, soul bearing dialogues that allow us to yield positive returns. Often times, we realize what are partner was trying to say all along, after its too late. Before it reaches that point, or even if you think it has, try posing more direct questions, You never know the good it can do, until you try! That being said, if you refuse or forget to listen to the answers you are given, it will all be for nothing.

A Man Without A Plan Is Not A Man

I am a single female in my late 20’s. I use an online dating app and I have gone on a lot of first dates, tons. I recently went on a first date with a guy; let’s call him “Jay”. Jay is a young professional, lives ITP, and enjoys kickball. Jay musters up the courage to ask me out after chatting for a while. We work through some details and arrive at the conclusion that our schedules won’t allow for a date for two weeks. He says he is still interested and I put it on my calendar. 

Fast forward, 3 days before the big date, I have to take the initiative (he should have; annoyance #1) to text and ask if we are still confirmed for the upcoming date. I am a busy person and if plans are going to fall through I need to know ASAP. Jay responds, “Yeah, definitely” and I say “Great, what is the plan?” Jay must not be capable of making plans because he says “Ladies choice” (annoyance #2). 

Here is a general rule of thumb for men or women; when YOU ask someone out, YOU need to make the plan! So I said “let’s go to this new brewery near Piedmont Park” and Jay says “cool, I’ve never been to a brewery." This gives me pause because this particular brewery I have chosen only makes four beers and they are quite unique. So I ask him “what type of beer do you normally drink” and my worst fears are confirmed by his response, he only drinks Bud Lite beers. So now I have to change the plan, 

I find a two for one deal for a different brewery, one that has a wider selection and is more appropriate for his maiden craft beer experience. I think I have really done well, I float the idea, and it all sounds good. 

That takes us to the day of date. I am at work and I realize that my plan sucks because it is a logistical nightmare with Friday afternoon traffic, the plan must be changed yet again. Now I am frustrated, I text Jay and tell him we need to do something else because of traffic. He says okay but offers no alternatives. At this point I’m about to say forget it, but I don’t, I pick two restaurants and make him choose. Jay chooses and finally arrives at the conclusion that “I probably didn’t help the situation. I probably should have just chosen something to do and had that be that.” 

Uh yeah Jay, that would have been good.

Tips for making a plan: Consider your audience; what does this person like or dislike? Think of logistics; weather and traffic. Remember the 5 P’s “prior planning prevents poor performance” and always always always when YOU ask someone out, YOU need to make the plan!

- L. Kenn

What do you want to Eat?!

I'm sure you've all seen this video by now, For every guy who has ever asked a girl “what do you want to eat?” just to hear her say I don’t know, I feel your pain.  This is a battle that has been waging on since the caveman first dragged home a pound of T-Rex meat, which I’m told taste a lot like chicken. 

To be honest, it’s a battle that will never end, but on behalf of all the men on earth let me explain why this makes no since to us.

1. Men are in most cases greedy, pick any restaurant and we will find something on the menu we like.  If not we’ll just put bacon on something healthy and call it a day. 

2. Women are in most cases picky, which is why we would rather you pick so we don’t have to hear the complaints.

3. This is not your first time eating food, right, RIGHT!?  

4. How on God’s green earth can you run down a list of all the places you don’t want to eat but can’t pick one place where you do want to eat?

5. If you say we can pick you can’t veto every choice we make.

I have never been in the mind of a woman but this is how I imagine the “where to eat” conversation plays out.

“Oh, where do I want to eat? Well, what did I eat today? What did I eat yesterday?  I was good today. All I had was four grapes and some Chick-Fil-A for lunch.  Plus it was a grilled chicken sandwich too! Oh, but I did have that slice of cake yesterday. Cake! No girl, no. Don’t give in to chocolate cake, or red velvet cake.  Cupcakes are ok though, right?  I mean they’re so small. They can’t have that many calories.  What’s the name of that app Suzie uses to keep track of her calories?  She’s so skinny. I hate her.  I’ll just let him pick and wherever we go I’ll get a salad.  But then I’ll have to watch him eat like a pig and gain one pound. Men are such jerks. I wonder what he’s getting me for my birthday?”

By this time 20 plus minutes have passed and you look up to see the Golden Arches.  Ladies this is not a hard question in the mind of a man. We oversimplify things, true but food is a necessity and should not be a complicated choice.  There are so many other things in your relationship you could be devoting this time to.

Trust me, I’m a Relationship Ninja!

- Racer X