The Art Of Gift Giving

Ok, I’m about to tell an ugly truth.  Most women are horrible gift givers.  That’s Right! I said it! Now if your reading this and your thinking to yourself “That’s not true. I gave my man a PS4 and a cold beer for his birthday”, then you’re the exception, not the rule.  Also, why are you not sharing your wisdom with the legion of woman giving out Cosby sweaters and books as gifts? 

Here’s the thing, in most cases a man will pick a gift that is exclusively for his lady.  This is even true when they pick bad gifts, such as a vacuum, ports and pans.  Woman, on the other hand, often give their men the things they want them to have.  And in that lies the issues.  Buying him tickets to a play or a show you wanted to see is not a gift.  That’s just a date he didn’t have to pay for.  Has your man ever bought you ticks to WWE Smack Down, knowing that wrestling is his not your cup of tea and tried to pass it off as a something he is doing for you.  And if he did I’m sure he is still hearing about it. 

Ladies, here is a good rule of thumb when shopping for the men in you lives.

1.     Do I know what he is interested in?

2.     Does this gift benefit him or me?

3.     Will it make him happy?

It’s this bloggers opinion that woman are more sensitive, attentive and caring when it comes to keeping a relationship connected, but sometimes you can lose your individuality.  That’s why it’s good to honor each other’s personal interest with a gift.  Trust me, he will be appreciative of your thoughtfulness.

Rules, Standards, and the New Dating Scene

Dear ladies,

Would you approve of your best friend or sibling dating a man with no Job? How about a man with no education? In one of the LOTF teams recent discussions regarding relationships, we have noticed that the bar for both sexes is begin raised, in terms of what they must bring to the table to be deemed a suitable companion. For the vast majority of men the idea of finding an attractive woman, who is a great cook and will take care of them no longer applies (Thank Goodness). That being said, most women do not simply want to be taken care of these days. For those that still hang on to that ideal, think about it like this. What would you say if your best friend introduced you to a man who had no job, no ambition, and no education, but was "great at yard work and mean on the grill"? Chances are you would implore her to drop him like a bad habit. In today's muddled maze of human interactions, many of the old rules and standards no longer apply. Our hope is this new development will see more couples find long term success, as they are choosing each other, not hanging in there our of obligation.

That old standards or dating rules do you feel have fallen to the wayside in today's dating landscape? Leave a comment below, and let us know what you think!

Surviving A Long Distance Relationship

There is nothing worse than finding the right person, who happens to be in the wrong city. While I personally would not recommend a long distance while in college (too many distractions and temptations). Once you have wrapped up our time on campus, you may find that the person you are supposed to be with is right around the corner, or in middle Iowa. Now the question becomes, how do we navigate, what feels like the endless ocean between you on a daily basis?

Check out this video below from TheDanocracy, as he provides a few tips on how to maintain a long distance relationship. Do you agree with Dan's tips? Leave a comment below to let us know what you think! 

Let's Be Honest, Listening is a Little Scary

Don't forget to speak your mind, and most importantly don't be scared to listen. Why scared, you may ask? Well because, listening is scary. Listening causes us to be put in that awkward situation where someone we care about says the not so flattering things, no one likes to hear. Listening means accepting that you have failed in certain ways, it also means discovering that you are awesome in certain areas, you were never aware of. Listening is scary because it's different from hearing. Listening means actually having to do a little work on the front end (taking in what has been said) and on the back end (trying to make adjustments). 

 Listening is scared, because sometimes listening means change. Change is something very few of us like (no matter what we say) and even fewer of us are capable of readily accepting. Keep in mind that anything worth having, is worth working for. Remember that many times fear is our greatest deterrent from being great. This not only translates to our personal lives, but also our relationships. Don't be afraid. Lend and ear, listen, and learn today.

Social Media and Dating, When to let it Go

"I'm just looking!" many people have said that in relationships, when confronted by a significant other, or when justifying their own behavior which might be a little suspect. For some reason the social norm once we enter a relationship, is to assume that we no longer have eyes or senses, and never find another person remotely interesting or attractive. Since, virtually everyone is connected to some type of social media outlet, this same dilemma that takes place on a daily basis in the real world, has become amplified, in a frenzied, whirlwind of likes, bikini photos, and half nude selfies.

In our current world of "Likes and Shares", where should we draw the line, when it comes to interaction with the opposite sex on social media, if we are in a relationship? The "Instagram Rules for Men", lays out a few tips, that sound down right wrong. "Comments you post don't appear in the Following section. They can see when you like a pic, Not when you comment". If you are looking to be an Instagram sleaze, this advice will probably be very useful. If you are looking to be honest in your relationship, and avoid putting yourself in situations where you feel like you have to lie or hide anything! If you have to lie or hide something related to the opposite sex, chances are it will probably make your partner fairly upset. Now take it a step further, and ask yourself, "is it really worth it?". Is liking a picture of a woman in a g-string, or a dude in a banana hammock, standing in front of a dirty bathroom mirror or disheveled bedroom, really worth having the person you see everyday, love everyday, and actually want to be with upset? If the answer is a resounding "Yes!", then by all means, take these rules and make them work for you. If it isn't, it's probably time to take out your phone and start "un-following" or "de-friending", those attention starved guys and gals you have to sneak and look at when your boyfriend or girlfriends back is turned. Basic rules for relationships and social media. If it can cause you to get yelled at, slapped, or dumped just let it go.

Just a little fun!

All of our blog post don't have to be super serious, or advice driven. We are perfectly capable of having a little bit of fun too...well fun with a message! How well do you think you know your partner? Often times we think we know the "idea" of who we think they are, but are fairly unfamiliar with who they really are. This can be attributed to our own hubris and need to put things in their proper place for our own peace of mind. The problem is real, successful, honest relationships cannot function that way. Click the link below, and take the test provided by the Gottman Institute to find out how well you really know your partner. If you want to get the most out of it, you have to really try! don't give the answer that you think you should provide, give the one that's honest, even if it doesn't make you look too good!

Gottman Institute Quiz

Wedding Planning: Is it the calm before the storm or the Storm Before the Calm?

The team at Love on the Fly regularly pays visits to bridal shows to see what brides and grooms are into, and what they may need a little assistance with. While this may seem fun, we can assure you that its not. We dislike bridal shows, just about as much as you do, the difference is the attitude we approach it with. Wedding planning is tedious, arduous, and at times a little painstaking. This makes perfect sense, given that relationships (yes, even the successful ones) can be described using the exact same words. Love is never easy, so why should planning a wedding be? Needless to say, becoming a relationship ninja does not happen over night, it takes a lot of hard work, dedication, and even a little help form time to time (Why we do what we do). That being said, its important be open to the process, and put your best foot forward, even when both of your feet want to turn tail and run for the hills. Since having an argument (or two, three or four) is inevitable, why not try an pick your battles? There is no need to fight over everything, but maybe in some cases, digging your heels in will make the reality of that special day a little better than you could have even dreamed. Catherine Rampell of the Huffington Post penned an awesome article entitled "The One Fight to Have Before Your Wedding". Check it out in the link below, and be sure to let us know what you think about it!

The One Fight to Have Before Your Wedding Day